Eugen Jaeger

Scavenger of ill-placed fortunes


Work in progress…


I never had a dream, well I had dreams, but they were rarely any good.
A reoccurring dream was my mother trying to drown me, usually woke up just before I swallowed water and found I had once again wet my bed.

You worthless piece of shit, no wonder your farther left us, he must have been truly disappointed when he saw you. Why didn’t Morr take you, instead of your brother?
My mother, blessed be her name

Think I had a normal childhood, for my neighbourhood anyway.
I was lucky, went through my entire childhood without a single disease, or broken bone. In that neighbourhood it was a rare thing. I was always good at finding some sort of food-source, really anything is edible if you are hungry enough, cats dogs, or rat, don’t matter to me.
Helped greatly that the streets biggest boy, also bordered infantile mental capacity, he sure was easy to manipulate.

He bleeds a lot, sure I should hit him again?

I stood on the docks of Altdorf, looking at the boats passing by. There was something about them, was like they each had it’s own personality… One boat, a broad one-mast river boat, looked like it didn’t want to reach the docks, it kept keeling to the right while the boatman frantically tried to move it left. Another, a small rowing boat, looked afraid of all the big ships, and sort of jumped up every time a big ship got to close. Ships can’t think… but the people who steered them looked like they ate well.
Guess my mother wouldn’t miss me much, at least not after I had emptied her already thin purse, so while some dockhands were busy unloading cargo, I found myself passage on “Helga”. I wouldn’t have named my ship “Helga”, but maybe the boatman had offended his wife and made it up by giving the boat her name?

Kurt, I found the little rat who’s been eating our supplies!
Never did catch his name

Apparently I can swim or float, same difference in the situation, and as I discovered later, apparently I had broken a rib.
My story of being abducted by river-pirates, and drown overboard was half true, for all I knew they could very well have been river-pirates.

Good thing we found you when we did, you were cold to the bone. Can you describe the pirates, so we can inform the proper authorities?
Sebastian Klebzbacker, kind but gullible villager

Think this is my call! I wholeheartedly enjoy the simple village-life, wake up early to a bowl of porridge and help mend the fences around Klebzbackers farm, eat a solid meal of apple sauce with bacon, fetch his lazy son, and the sheep, eat supper, sneak into his daughters bedroom, and sleep till the next day. It’s like every day has a purpose, but never any stress.

I’ll cut of his damn tool when I find the little brat!!!
Sebastian Klebzbacker, angry farther

I don’t like village life, to simplistic really, think I’m destined to more than that. I need a town or city of some size to give way to my yet to be spotted talents, I’m sure I have a talent, just need proper environment to let it show.
Found out I don’t like roadwardens, must be an insanely boring job to ask people endless of questions, neither do I like watchmen, again… what is it with all those questions???
Will I be causing any trouble?
Have I had anything to do with a sleeping pedlar being robbed on the road?
Does he look like an idiot? (note: roadwardens have no sense of self-criticism)

City-life works for me. I feel at home again, new faces but familiar people. I just need to find myself a place in this “world”.
Why do people bury their death laden jewellery?

The dead don’t miss what they can’t use.
Dieter Glintzman, my tutor

This has to be the best occupation ever! You work roughly three hour’s a day (well night), the reward is very good, and there’s no one to correct you if you don’t behave properly.
My teacher is good and thorough, he’s showing me everything I need to get the job done, and also how to make it more pleasant. Chewing tobacco takes away the nasty scent most of the jobs comes with. No idea why more people don’t do this really, it’s basically like picking apples from the tree. Sure it’s a crime, but totally victimless!

I’ve been framed! Those rings are not mine, well that one is, but he planted it there! He planted it there!!!
Dieter Glintzman, desperate man

So that’s what it looks like when you hang people… I must admit this career does come with risks. Poor Dieter, he thought I was returning all his good will towards me when I gave him the loot from my first solo job. I botched it quite good, and next day the guards were looking for the “guest” who visited the graveyard.
He was getting old really, and I’m sure he’d made a mistake soon anyway, so giving him up was just speeding up the whole process I reckon.

I did make away with some savings, not a lot, but I feel like I’m moving up in life. Grave robbing is dangerous, apparently, but I think I’ll give it a little more chance first. I realize I can’t do it forever, but if I keep moving from place to place, I’ll minimize my risk of being caught, I think…
If there’s one thing life has taught me, it’s that opportunities lies around every corner, along with trouble, but if you stay on the same path trouble will always catch up with you sooner or later, but you’ll never be able to seize the opportunities.

Your troubled soul has no home, I see it wandering confused and alone in the dark. But it’s destined to find home amongst other restless souls.
Crazy blind man

Eugen Jaeger

The Olde World League Spivo